Marriage and Relationships

But I’m divorced and they’re all still married.

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My husband couldn’t stand a nagging wife. He would always say he didn’t understand how any man could live like that.

I must admit I was right there with him.

Even as a woman, I found it exhausting watching the interaction of some couples. I didn’t understand why you would put so many demands on a person.

I wore my non-nagging wife-ness like a badge of honor.

So much so I rarely asked my husband for help with anything. Years later, our marriage counselor questioned me as to why I had asked so little of my husband.

The answer to…


Relationships and Health

3 questions I had to ask myself to lose it

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If I’m honest I can’t blame my weight gain entirely on food. It was kind of a joint venture. Cabernet meets chips. Pinot Grigio meets peanut butter cups and Rose…I like to say Rose never met a stranger.

I used to be a party girl.

Before a bad breakup forced me into social hibernation.

The party girl didn’t date junk food on her nights out. She ate a yummy meal, talked too much to finish it, drank wine, and danced some of it off.

But the bad breakup up girl…

The one who no longer felt like partying. She thought…


Narcissism

Today it makes me laugh

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It took me a long time to free myself from a narcissist.

Sadly, there’s nothing unusual about this. It’s their standard emotional operating procedure. When you anger a narcissist, it lengthens the path to freedom.

During my long breakup, I heard the same phrase more than once.

Only from a few people but it still stung. The way words do when your skin is too damaged and thin to absorb them.

People mean well especially when they are forced to witness long-term suffering. But even well-intentioned words can miss the mark if someone has never experienced this crippling personality disorder…


Politics

Social media silences a narcissistic threat

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On January 6, 2021, this great country was assaulted by our own people. We watched in disbelief as individuals pushed Capitol Police further up the steps. These select law enforcement officers both surprised and outnumbered by the unexpected attack.

One brought on by their own Commander-in-Chief.

The very person whose job it is to protect them from the threat of invasion.

We watched in horror waiting for additional help to arrive. But shockingly it did not. Instead, while our elected officials, law enforcement, and others were under siege our President stayed silent.

As did his inner circle.

It would take…


Mindfulness

Practical exercises to say goodbye 2020 and hello 2021

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I ran into a friend recently who owns a liquor store. I figured he was having a pretty good year since alcohol is one of the pandemic growth industries. It ranks up there with toilet paper. Basic needs and all. Turns out we have our priorities when it comes to shutdowns.

“How are you?” I asked.

“I’m doing really well,” he said. “But I feel guilty my business is taking off while many people are suffering.”

I get why he feels guilty.

Some have prospered or maintained emotionally, physically, and financially this year.

And others have been completely totaled.

We…


Funny

Alec Baldwin might rescue his wife with humor

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Photo by Asit Khanda on Unsplash

Will SNL be bold enough to do ‘la parodia’ of Hilaria? Or will the notoriously ‘politically incorrect’ comedy show opt to be uncharacteristically correct?

Only time and perhaps Alec Baldwin will tell.

While established comics, as well as unknown comedians, have Twitter users laughing out loud, it’s hard not to dream of SNL. The possibilities are endless. The iconic show could gift viewers with a proverbial sketch gold mine.

Especially with Alec Baldwin as part of the ensemble.

Let’s face it, it’s not like other late-night shows won’t be doing, “How you say in English?” ‘Parodies’ of their own.

If…


Entertainment

3 Things she must do to recover

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Photo by Inga Seliverstova from Pexels

In the words of Amy Schumer, “I get it.”

In between my cousins' thick Nu Yawker ‘Youse guys’ and my ‘Y’all’s,’ I like to say I’m a southern New Yorker.

And I don’t stop there. I owned a house on the Jersey Shore for sixteen years. Naturally, I was a Jersey girl. When my Jersey friends balk, I remind them I was an actual homeowner.

It’s what I call a sense of humor.

Hilaria Baldwin calls it the truth.

Personally, I want to like her. She seems to have tamed the beast in Alec Baldwin. And a mother of five…


And it wasn’t another woman.

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Photo by Benigno Hoyuela on Unsplash

There’s this age-old comment about who’s to blame when a relationship ends. If you know me, it’s best not to say it around me. It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers but this adage provokes me.

“It takes two,” they say.

Well no, I’m sorry it doesn’t.

Not in all cases.

I had what I call a ‘third party’ in my marriage. Not another woman. That would have been traumatic in an entirely different way. I speak to men and women who have been cheated on. It’s an impossible wound.

I suffered a different type of emotional injury.

No…


3 reasons the outcome will never be fair

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I don’t know why survivors of narcissistic abuse seek fairness but we do. Ironically, it’s such a contradiction to the individual we are freeing ourselves from. There is nothing good, equal, or fair about the relationship with a narcissist. There never will be.

It was always an emotional imbalance.

Nonetheless, we torture ourselves into believing that at least when we leave them, there will finally be justice. That some type of rational equity will bubble to the surface.

It won’t.

And we shouldn’t look for it.

But we do continue to look for some degree of fairness. Not because we…


Marriage Counseling

A must-read divorce tip

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By the time I retained my lawyer I was emotionally spent. I naively believed I was initiating a resolution to my marital issues. I had no idea this was simply the mechanics of divorce, the infrastructure.

There was something far more dangerous lurking in the distance.

But no one told me.

I wouldn’t make that same mistake. I would tell others.

And I did recently, while on the phone with several of my newly separated friends.

If you end up divorcing, you need to multiply your spouse’s personality times ten,” I say. “If they are controlling multiply it. If they…

Colleen Sheehy Orme

National Relationship Columnist, Freelance Journalist & Former Business Columnist. All Shapes of Love — #WomanResurrected colleen.sheehy.orme@gmail.com

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