The agony of this disorder from the other side.
I write about my own experiences but I hear from a lot of men. Good men who are suffering at the hands of emotional abuse. I often say I don’t know which is worse, a man or a woman who is a narcissist.
Or is it fair to quantify it?
Not necessarily.
Mental health disorders do not choose a gender.
They are equal opportunity.
There are intricacies in the individual behavior of each. However, both lack empathy and will weaponize their children, money, and control to get what they want.
It’s believed there are more men than women narcissists.
But…
Then I met my husband
“What was dad like when he was younger?” my son asks.
“Actually,” I say, “Your father was different. But you may be surprised to know I was different as well.”
I begin to tell my son what should have been a danger Will Robinson, red flag, heads up, a wake-up call — of our history. The story of how his father pursued me for a month and how I finally relented.
I spent four weeks dodging my intended’s direction.
My ever-dependable roommates attempting to have my back.
“Avoid that party,” they would say. “That guy is looking for you again.”
…
But my husband thinks I was doing him a favor
My husband thinks I did him a favor. In his eyes, it’s a tiny, itsy bitsy gift. Now bear with me, this is kind of a confusing story because it involves money and a neanderthal.
You see my husband says he built a life alone.
So weird, because I’m pretty sure he had a roommate.
But maybe he doesn’t remember the big white dress and tux day.
Possible, since he seems to be forgetting a bunch of other stuff. He’s a busy man after all. What with building a business, buying houses, raising three children, and managing a home all…
How the pain decreases and joy increases
I call myself Divorce Barbie because when I wasn’t looking, Ken took off with our country camper and Malibu beach house.
Actually, Ken ran off with it all.
I know a few women who say they would never consider divorce after what happened to me. They’d rather stay and take their chances. Preferring a comfortable malaise over the unknown.
I get it.
My divorce was a knockdown, drag-out, never-ending five-year escape.
A bottomless pit of financial and emotional abuse.
In many ways, my life was easier while I was married. …
I regret learning my husband’s answer to that question
I’m not sure who shook their head more. My sister when she asked my husband what made him fall in love with me, or mine when she repeated his answer back to me.
“I thought she was pretty, and she had a lot of friends,” he said.
“Seriously?” I asked. “That’s it? This is what he describes as the reason he chose to spend his life with me?!”
I was consumed with shock. I couldn’t believe that I had been ‘the one’ for him, for the shallowest of reasons. I had committed my heart to a man who, when asked…
It was healthier than neither of us going
“Wow, has anyone ever told you that you have a little Dr. Phil in you?” I asked.
This was my response the first time my marriage counselor told me something I didn’t want to hear. I wasn’t ready for a direct hit to my ego. I had come because my husband was to blame.
Isn’t that why everyone goes to couples counseling?
We show up believing it’s going to be more about them, less about us.
The truth lies somewhere in between.
Yes, people behave badly. My husband had been drinking and upsetting our children and me. This was the…
Can we trust what they are saying?
I was watching a guy online who says he was diagnosed with Narcissistic personality disorder. He says he is self-aware, wants to help people, and believes he is a narcissist.
Can you point out how many things are wrong with that paragraph?
A narcissist who recognizes his behavior, knows he is one, and cares??!!
Is It within the realm of extremely rare, acts of God, type miraculous that a narcissist can be rehabilitated? Yes, though again it would be exceptionally uncommon.
Let alone to the degree that they want to help people on the savior level.
Don’t get me wrong.
…
We were extreme opposites that’s why it worked
My husband used to say, “Everything will be fine if you just go back to being who you always were.”
He was talking about the woman who lacked boundaries, self-protection, and didn’t put demands on him. The one who was intent on making his world go round and placed him high upon a pedestal.
We play roles in unhealthy relationships.
I fell in love with a narcissist, but he was also a golden boy.
In counseling, I learned I was an overly caring enabler. That’s a deeply empathetic person who tolerates bad behavior. …
To know if your relationship is healthy or unhealthy
By the time I sought relationship counseling I was in deep. You know what I’m talking about. He’s the love of my life and all that good love stuff. It was all about him. How could I reach him? How could I live without him? How could I get over him?
Him, him, and more him.
Why couldn’t he hear me? Why didn’t he care? How could he keep hurting me?
He was my entire, exhausting, all-encompassing focus.
One day my marriage counselor disrupted my thoughts.
“A healthy love relationship is not gauged by how I feel about him/her,” he…
He existed but the person I loved was extinct.
I’m out with the girls and a friend dismisses another friend’s pain.
“What’s the big deal?” she asks. “She’s the one who left him.”
“Just because someone chooses to leave,” I say. “Doesn’t mean there isn’t grief.”
I left my husband. No more chaos, arguing, and pain. The weight of the world could seek a new shoulder to lean on. But then a sadness crept in.
If the ache of divorce distresses us, you could say narcissism deludes us.
Each comes with a contradictory cost.
One is a forthright loss and the other a deceptive loss.
You mourn the person…
