Narcissism

The narcissist’s altered reality hurts our children.

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A narcissist doesn’t only live in their own perception of reality. They alter reality for those unfortunate enough to have fallen in love with them. And even worse, for their own children. If the divorce and emotional aftermath last too long it can make actual reality almost unrecognizable to these innocent victims.

I’ve written about how a narcissist will hurt their kids if they see it as a means to winning. I’ve explained the control, confusion, and manipulation. I’ve discussed the fear we feel as parents. …

Engagement and Marriage

It was foolish but a lot of people do it

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My engagement didn’t begin on a bent knee. It started many months before with an ultimatum.

“Either we get engaged or I am leaving you,” he said.

I wasn’t in a hurry to get married. It’s the kind of thing that accompanies watching your single mother do it all. And I was also an overly social girl. Forever seemed every bit the eternity it implies.

I was conflicted.

But his ‘final notice of dating’ made me cave and I agreed. Saying it now seems crazy. I got engaged to keep the peace.

It’s absurd an individual would make a lifetime commitment because they…

Marriage and Relationships

But I’m divorced and they’re all still married.

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My husband couldn’t stand a nagging wife. He would always say he didn’t understand how any man could live like that.

I must admit I was right there with him.

Even as a woman, I found it exhausting watching the interaction of some couples. I didn’t understand why you would put so many demands on a person.

I wore my non-nagging wife-ness like a badge of honor.

So much so I rarely asked my husband for help with anything. Years later, our marriage counselor questioned me as to why I had asked so little of my husband.

The answer to…

Relationships and Food

3 questions I had to ask myself to lose it

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If I’m honest I can’t blame my weight gain entirely on food. It was kind of a joint venture. Cabernet meets chips. Pinot Grigio meets peanut butter cups and Rose…I like to say Rose never met a stranger.

I used to be a party girl.

Before a bad breakup forced me into social hibernation.

The party girl didn’t date junk food on her nights out. She ate a yummy meal, talked too much to finish it, drank wine, and danced some of it off.

But the bad breakup up girl…

The one who no longer felt like partying. She thought…

Narcissism

Today it makes me laugh

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It took me a long time to free myself from a narcissist.

Sadly, there’s nothing unusual about this. It’s their standard emotional operating procedure. When you anger a narcissist, it lengthens the path to freedom.

During my long breakup, I heard the same phrase more than once.

Only from a few people but it still stung. The way words do when your skin is too damaged and thin to absorb them.

People mean well especially when they are forced to witness long-term suffering. But even well-intentioned words can miss the mark if someone has never experienced this crippling personality disorder…

Politics

Social media silences a narcissistic threat

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On January 6, 2021, this great country was assaulted by our own people. We watched in disbelief as individuals pushed Capitol Police further up the steps. These select law enforcement officers both surprised and outnumbered by the unexpected attack.

One brought on by their own Commander-in-Chief.

The very person whose job it is to protect them from the threat of invasion.

We watched in horror waiting for additional help to arrive. But shockingly it did not. Instead, while our elected officials, law enforcement, and others were under siege our President stayed silent.

As did his inner circle.

It would take…

Mindfulness

Practical exercises to say goodbye 2020 and hello 2021

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I ran into a friend recently who owns a liquor store. I figured he was having a pretty good year since alcohol is one of the pandemic growth industries. It ranks up there with toilet paper. Basic needs and all. Turns out we have our priorities when it comes to shutdowns.

“How are you?” I asked.

“I’m doing really well,” he said. “But I feel guilty my business is taking off while many people are suffering.”

I get why he feels guilty.

Some have prospered or maintained emotionally, physically, and financially this year.

And others have been completely totaled.

We…

Funny

Alec Baldwin might rescue his wife with humor

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Will SNL be bold enough to do ‘la parodia’ of Hilaria? Or will the notoriously ‘politically incorrect’ comedy show opt to be uncharacteristically correct?

Only time and perhaps Alec Baldwin will tell.

While established comics, as well as unknown comedians, have Twitter users laughing out loud, it’s hard not to dream of SNL. The possibilities are endless. The iconic show could gift viewers with a proverbial sketch gold mine.

Especially with Alec Baldwin as part of the ensemble.

Let’s face it, it’s not like other late-night shows won’t be doing, “How you say in English?” ‘Parodies’ of their own.

If…

Entertainment

3 Things she must do to recover

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In the words of Amy Schumer, “I get it.”

In between my cousins' thick Nu Yawker ‘Youse guys’ and my ‘Y’all’s,’ I like to say I’m a southern New Yorker.

And I don’t stop there. I owned a house on the Jersey Shore for sixteen years. Naturally, I was a Jersey girl. When my Jersey friends balk, I remind them I was an actual homeowner.

It’s what I call a sense of humor.

Hilaria Baldwin calls it the truth.

Personally, I want to like her. She seems to have tamed the beast in Alec Baldwin. And a mother of five…

And it wasn’t another woman.

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There’s this age-old comment about who’s to blame when a relationship ends. If you know me, it’s best not to say it around me. It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers but this adage provokes me.

“It takes two,” they say.

Well no, I’m sorry it doesn’t.

Not in all cases.

I had what I call a ‘third party’ in my marriage. Not another woman. That would have been traumatic in an entirely different way. I speak to men and women who have been cheated on. It’s an impossible wound.

I suffered a different type of emotional injury.

No…

Colleen Sheehy Orme

National Relationship Columnist, Freelance Journalist & Former Business Columnist. All Shapes of Love — #WomanResurrected colleen.sheehy.orme@gmail.com

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