Relationship Advice

Be Careful of People Who Say These 3 Words

Relationships can be harder with difficult personalities

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Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash

When I met my husband I was instantly intrigued by three words he often spoke.

My husband was ‘the non-worrier.’

The antithesis of the very thing I disliked about myself. To say it was attractive would be an understatement.

And each time he spoke, I was more certain of it.

“I don’t care,” he would say.

And the more he said those three words, the sexier he became.

Really? Is it even possible to not care? How does one not care? Teach me. Please!

And while I could not be taught, he did ‘free’ me from time to time. By adding a fourth word that allowed a worrier a short reprieve.

“Why do you care?” he would say.

I know what you’re thinking.

It’s hard to understand how I found his chill poker face so appealing. But I think the other world worriers will agree it feels steady and stable next to our fear. Almost like it grounds us.

But what’s that they say?

Or my “indifferent Goliath” who was increasingly proving to be an extremely difficult personality.

I had misinterpreted those three little words.

When he said, “I don’t care.” He really didn’t care. It wasn’t that he had escaped the worrying gene. It wasn’t that he was strong. It wasn’t that he was emotionally tough.

It was that he lacked emotion.

He simply didn’t care about others or what they thought. The spoiled and selfish child who wants what they want and little else matters.

The world is not black and white. Everyone utters those three words. At least from time to time…and they can even be healthy. However, if they are standard vocabulary they speak something I could never have understood at a young age.

They are the language of a very difficult personality.

A person who believes they don’t have to follow the rules because they have their own.

It’s nearly impossible to make a relationship work unless both people care. And even harder to make a relationship work with some personalities.

Certainly, we can’t care what everyone thinks. It would be debilitating.

But we should care what those we love and respect think.

There should be someone in our life we love enough (I gotta say it) to worry about.

These days I’m cool with being a worrier. It’s a part of me. And it accounts for a few things I do like.

I’m an undeniably, “I do care,” kinda girl.

Somehow that just doesn’t sound as ugly.

Written by

National Relationship Columnist, Freelance Journalist & Former Business Columnist. All Shapes of Love — #WomanResurrected colleen.sheehy.orme@gmail.com

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