Hi Chris, You're hysterical and humor is very difficult to write. It's one of the hardest things to do. I'm actually funny in person but I struggled for many years to convey that. I mostly write deeper thngs but there's a built in smartass in me that has to come out to play. As a journalist, it took years for that naturally funny side of me to come out in writing. Because of this, I understand what a talent it is to write with the humor you pen. I really enjoyed this, especially your last line. Also, the sign of a naturally talented writer...A great opening, and a great close.