Hi JW, I am so sorry this is happening to you too. My divorce was 5 years and he told me before I left him if you leave me I will make sure there's no money and you work for the rest of your life. I wish I had kept a full-time job because as a stay-at-home mom I was financially vulnerable. If I had a full-time income I could have freed myself sooner. It's all about the punishment. I once asked my marriage counselor who is a psychologist and diagnosed my ex-husband what exposes a narcissist? What brings them out of hiding so it's more obvious for everyone to see and his answer was anger. Anger escalates a narcissist. I wrote about it in a piece I think I called it what forces a narcissist out of hiding. I hope you have a strong support system and a really good lawyer. Wishing you the best.