Hi Kimberly, I have very strict values and I stood by my decision that it was unethical. But I could not have been more wrong. The person you divorce will be unrecognizable in many cases. I now see it as self-protection. I failed to self-protect. I was honest and told my husband every feeling I had and every single thing I was doing. He was dishonest and watching out for himself the entire time I was exhausting myself trying to save the marriage. You need to have a plan. You need to put aside some money. I was left without even having grocery or school supply money for my children. My family and friends had to bring in food. I should have been taking out cash when I went to the grocery store and gradually putting cash away in case he withheld money. Especially since I was financially vulnerable as a stay-at-home mother and he had entire control of the finances.