Hi LM, It's a pain only those of us who have experienced a narcissist can understand. You are so kind to say you like my writing. I hope it helps. Narcissism is so confusing and complex and misunderstood and worse, a lot that is written isn't necessarily accurate because even after spending more than a decade in the counseling and research on the topic I always say there are aspects of NPD I still won't write about because of that. It's not love bombing and gaslighting. Plenty of people who aren't narcissists are capable of that. It's much more complex. You might want to read this piece I wrote about what I call Illusionary Grief leaving a narcissist https://medium.com/hello-love/a-narcissist-left-me-with-illusionary-grief-b49623c8c27f