Hi Pam, It's funny because I write a lot about narcissism and I wrote a piece about not being a victim and that through counseling I learned that though my husband was who he was I made the choices to stay. I posted it in a FB group for narcissistic abuse and a few people felt like I was victim shaming by accepting responsiblity myself. But it goes to show a lot of people don't stay in counseling long enough or go to better counselors whose job is to teach us to heal and we can only do so by empowering ourselves and taking some accountability for putting up with stuff and not leaving.