Hi There EastBayBoy, I am SO sorry that I am just now responding. If you read a lot of my writing you will find the answers and depth you are looking for. I write a lot about how I got myself into this situation and how I do not perceive myself as a victim. If I did I would never have healed enough to be happy. I also have written at length about why people 'appear to be strangers' when we divorce them when in reality they are who they were all along. We just chose to see the best in them.