Hi Thomas, my ex-husband did all the same passive-aggressive controlling things. It’s amazing how impossible it is to divorce some people. I’ve written about some control but you’ve given me a new idea. Like you, winning never crossed my mind either because I felt like divorce was ultimately a sad end to our relationship meaning there could be no winners. But my ex-husband used to tell me while we were still together and having marital problems, “You’re never going to win Colleen.” And I would always respond the same way, “If you think there’s winning and losing in love, you’ve already lost.”