I Am Not Victim Blaming

When I acknowledge personal self-responsibility

Some writers shy away from the comments they disagree with. I do not. I write for the reader. Their observations are valuable and provoke deeper thought within me.

Have I done this topic justice? Did it resonate with others who have experienced this? Did I let my own personal experience overshadow the broader view?

I recently wrote a piece, “There Are a Lot of Good Men.”

You’ll find it at the bottom of this article.

I wrote it for several reasons. Just because I attached myself to a man who was capable of egregious things, not all men are. I come from a family of genuinely great men and I know great men.

Guys who are confident and mature enough to love a woman well.

I also wrote it because, in my experience, healing does not happen while still feeling victimized.

I was angry, bitter, and letting the best parts of myself go when my counselor reversed my thinking.

It was a pivotal moment in emotional advancement.

“Colleen, your husband is who he is. But you made the choices that led you to put up with certain things and stay.”