Member-only story
I Had to Leave a Bad Marriage
To resurrect me and rediscover the better me
“Colleen can do whatever she wants as long as it’s not a headache to me,” he says.
“I don’t like the way he talked to you,” says my friend.
Most people laughed when my husband spoke like this.
When someone is charming you can miss the danger in their words.
Especially since he used humor to mask the a__hole below. We had been discussing projects that were part work, part dream of mine. I could do as I wished as long as I didn’t interrupt him.
This was the overarching theme of our relationship.
My husband didn’t want to merge who we were. He wanted to tell me who I should be. Why do you want to do that? Why do you need that? Why do you care? Why, why, and more why’s.
Followed by…That’s not important. That’s silly. That’s ridiculous. That’s unnecessary. That’s stupid. And you’re overreacting.
I was happy, so stepping aside to make room for him wasn’t difficult.
We prioritized his feelings, wants, needs, and profession.
It began with our first major commitment.
I wasn’t ready to get engaged. He said he wanted to move on to the next phase of his…
