I love your first question and I may need to write that and use that as a title and reference your question. To answer your overall question, when we went to marriage counseling it was discovered my husband lacked empathy which is a critical deficit. It answered the question of why he made me cry so many times during our marriage. However, to really enrage someone who lacks empathy and has Narcissistic personality disorder not narcissistic characteristics but the actual disorder they must feel you have wronged them. When I told my husband it felt lonely being married to him and I was thinking of leaving the part of him that I dealt with during our marriage who hurt me and made me cry intensified dramatically. I am okay with heartbreak it’s a part of life but the abuse that occurred during an unnecessarily long five-year divorce was unimaginable. Looking back, I don’t know how I survived it.