I think my first question is do you have children? Because we know that's a job. We have to pay someone to watch our kids if we don't. I think what evolved as I read your response is a few things. First, there needs to be respect. The person providing income needs to be respected and so does the person who's responsible for the children and home. Making the money or watching the children shouldn't be an excuse for not being collaborative partners. One shouldn't be more admired and the other more dismissed. This was the point I made in this article. My situation was different because my husband went to and from work. I did everything else, not just the children and cooking and cleaning, I paid the bills, painted, handled repairs, car servicing, and things like mortages, car purchases, refinancing, insurance policies, etc. I also quit my job in my twenties to build a business with my husband before I stayed home to raise our children.

And we made a joint decision for me to stay home to raise our children. My husband wanted me to because he was raised by a stay-at-home mom. We either had to replace me in the office or at home.

Whether a man or a woman there needs to be respect for each other and what they do.

If your husband is making you go to the grocery store multiple times a week with him so he doesn't have to go alone that seems odd.

I think you have to ask yourself a question. Because there does seem to be a lack of respect which unfortunately is what gets us all into these situations. Did you make a joint decision for him to raise your children? How much would it cost if you hired someone to do it? Do you resent it? Is it causing an imbalance in your marriage?

It definitely caused an imbalance in my marriage. My husband absolutely 100% believed I should be responsible for everything and he should be responsible for going back and forth to work soley.

He defined everything by income. But I was on call 24/7. He didn't have to cancel appointments, go in late, or come home early. His work day was literally never interruppted. He didn't even check in with me during the day because he said he was too busy. When he did call it would alarm me and I would ask if everything was okay since I never heard from him.

So I had the luxury of some flexibility with my schedule but I was always on. He had the luxury of not having the typical responsibilities that accompany a home and parenthood. Therefore, money didn't make him more important. He actually made more income because I never pulled him in any direction. I freed his days as much as possible and he had extra time to sell.

I am empathetic with you because I think this isn't just a man/woman issue. As more men stay home that will increase.

There are plenty of traditional relationships that work well. But it takes a GREAT deal of respect.

My husband had three and half months of per year because our business sold to schools. He never once considered that I did even the traditional tasks of negotiating car and home prices, managing our properties (that I helped acquire), paid the bills, handled investments, handled repairs, etc. Ours was not a traditional marriage. He was a boy who came and went to work each day. I was the mommy who took care of all obligations.