Relationship Advice

I Wanted to Believe My Husband Would Change

There’s good and bad news when it comes to changing people

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Photo by Tetiana SHYSHKINA on Unsplash

Therefore, I persisted. I wasn’t actually attempting to alter my husband.

Like many before me, I was crafty in my pursuit. It was all in the semantics. I called it ‘growth.’

I had to.

Because too many people kept speaking that annoying negative phrase in my direction.

I wasted so much valuable time begging someone to change.

Not to mention, it brought out the worst in me. The more he upset me, the more I fought back. Mistakenly, believing I was fighting for our relationship. For our marriage. For our family.

Though I recognized I was the only one trying, I thought he would care enough to change. This in itself, is a ridiculous contradiciton. Why would a person who isn’t trying to save a relationship be interested in changing?

In the positive world, change is open and possible to every human being. Often fueled by the recognition something must shift in our lives, in order to be healthier, happier, and achieve better relationships. It is achieved by an inner desire for personal growth.

It is not accomplished by an exterior call from someone who cares. Who begs and begs to be heard.

It becomes a circular chorus.

They behave badly and we keep shouting how much we love them. By staying we continue to encourage and support the behavior.

And if they don’t, no matter how much we love them, they probably aren’t going to listen, let alone change.

Written by

National Relationship Columnist, Freelance Journalist & Former Business Columnist. All Shapes of Love — #WomanResurrected colleen.sheehy.orme@gmail.com

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