Member-only story
Relationship Advice
I Wanted to Believe My Husband Would Change
There’s good and bad news when it comes to changing people
In my world, only negative people uttered the discouraging phrase, “You can’t change people.”
Not me. I was certain my husband could.
Therefore, I persisted. I wasn’t actually attempting to alter my husband.
Like many before me, I was crafty in my pursuit. It was all in the semantics. I called it ‘growth.’
I had to.
Because too many people kept speaking that annoying negative phrase in my direction.
“Fine,” I would say. “I don’t want to change who he is. I want him to grow as a person. We’re all supposed to be evolving throughout life.”
I actually did subscribe to this.
I did believe there was a difference between ‘change’ and ‘growth.’
Obviously, I loved my husband and liked who he was. That’s why I married him. But there were aspects of his personality that were upsetting me and continuing to hurt me.
