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I Was Unprepared to Leave My Husband
7 Things I wish someone had told me about relationship grief
I practically skipped home from my lawyer’s office. I finally did it. I had the nerve to cut the marital umbilical cord. It had taken me years to swing open the doors of legal and emotional freedom.
I felt a much-needed surrender. A relief.
The next morning I was singing in the shower. I love singing in the shower. I had forgotten I used to do it. The unhappiness had lasted that long.
I was liberated.
I was living again. Breathing again.
And then all hell broke loose.
Divorce isn’t easy.
Even if you are the one who chooses it.
I remember something someone told me when my mom passed away. They said, “It’s going to get much worse before it gets better.” At twenty-eight I couldn’t imagine what kind of person would say such a thing. It seemed depressing if not mean.
But months later when my face was smacked against a soaked pillow it actually made me feel better. I knew it was normal. Someone had warned me.
It got worse.
And that meant one day it might also get better.
