It is SO much work. I was fortunate. My marriage counselor is a psychologist. What I didn’t know when we first went to him as he had spent years in the seminary. I couldn’t forgive myself for the mistakes I made and how they hurt my children. It was a blessing that he was my counselor because my faith is why I related so deeply to kindness. I couldn’t separate the two. I couldn’t set boundaries. Until he explained the difference. My own uncle was a priest. One day in the worst of my marital problems he told me, “Colleen the Holy Spirit gave you the gift of joy your whole life don’t let another human being take that from you.” I waited too long to heed my uncle’s advice but like my marriage counselor, he was trying to say boundaries are necessary.