My boys are all in their twenties and everyone lives locally. Even before their father started dating he didn’t look for our children. And he only lived and now lives a few miles away. They have met her in passing when they had to run to their dad’s to pick something up and my other son met her when he happened to meet friends at the restaurant they were already at. So two of my boys have met her once or twice. My other son works with his dad and has recently had more interaction with her. But the writing is on the wall. You don’t agree to marry someone when you don’t even know their children. You should want to merge both families. My kids are loving so it does make them feel conflicted despite everything their father has done because he’s their father. But their cousin is like a brother.