Member-only story
August 2022 Call for Submissions
The Barn Is My Happy Place
It saved my soul during a brutal divorce
Rhythm is looking every bit the handsome boy he is. Me, not so much. I am sleep-deprived and stressed. This early morning, makeup-free photo op isn’t my best look. It’s compliments of an emotionally and financially abusive five-year divorce.
Cabernet and Cheetos seemed a great accompaniment to foreclosure notices.
They paved the way for a forty-pound weight gain.
I don’t recognize myself. Nothing about this picture looks like me. I have been one size my entire life. A happy girl who’s lost her butterflies and unicorns.
Even so, I detect a hint of joy in this picture.
A little bit of Colleen in an unrecognizable photo.
The contentment found in my happy place. The barn isn’t cathartic to me it’s visceral. A smell others may find repulsive I find intoxicating. The first inhale takes me back to my youth.
A simple time in the country outside of Washington, D.C.
It’s never left me.
Once a horse girl. Always a horse girl. I can’t pass a field without wanting to stop the car, jump a fence, and ride. Down deep, I still believe I’m…