Love

The Day I Knew My Husband Could Never Love Me

Why narcissism and love do not play well together

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Photo by Nadi Whatisdelirium on Unsplash

It hurt me. This gentle, sweet, and caring man was not the one who took center stage. Not even in his goodbye. Nothing was about him. At least not from the one he once pledged his heart to.

He was a person who saw the best in people. No matter what the behavior. He was steadfast and loyal.

He was an enabler.

Someone who makes excuses for the bad or dysfunctional behavior of others. I myself had earned this title during marriage counseling.

I could see my future through my in-laws. But now it was abundantly clear. I was with someone who would never have the ability to truly love me.

But at least I had a choice.

However, the only thing stronger than an enabler is denial. It’s a pretty fierce duo. It’s responsible for keeping many unhealthy relationships together for entirely too long.

But seeing the best in people, fixing, and enabling were rooted deep within me. No matter how hard a counselor worked to help me see my own deficits.

And because of this, I don’t know what was harder to discard. The parts of me which made it worse or the worst part of my husband. It was an exhausting battle.

Written by

National Relationship Columnist, Freelance Journalist & Former Business Columnist. All Shapes of Love — #WomanResurrected colleen.sheehy.orme@gmail.com

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