This Clue Is Why I Shouldn’t Have Married My Husband

And I just recently realized it

Photo by Emiliano Vittoriosi on Unsplash

It’s funny the things you remember. And the things you don’t. But generally speaking, we do recall significant days and events. The emotional mile markers that determine the path of our lives.

Recently someone told me about the anniversary of an engagement.

Huh, I thought…I don’t remember the day I got engaged. I mean like at all. Not just the particular date. I don’t even remember the month. I think it was in the fall. But again, not certain, it could have been the summer.

I come from a family that observes anything and everything.

We are overly caring, thoughtful, sentimental fools.

Just give us a reason to paint the town red. We will celebrate anything. Just give us a reason. Or not. We send cards just because. We buy gifts for absolutely no reason. We buy food we know each other likes. You got it, just because.

You’ll even catch my brother and sister-in-law celebrating Ground Hog’s Day.

A humorous inside joke for the need to rejoice in any occasion.

Hence, it’s troubling I’ve no calendar recollection of a momentous event. I mean it’s not a terribly big deal I don’t remember the actual day. But the month?! C’mon! I’m a deep thinker, a writer, and a reflector. If you combine this with my family of origin, my absence of recall is more worrisome.

Do I remember the night? Yes! Phew! We were in a now-closed restaurant called Mountain Jacks. My then-boyfriend had the waiter put the ring in a glass of champagne. He got down on one knee, I said yes, and we drove over to tell my mom.

Here’s the clue I shouldn’t have gotten married.

It’s not just because I don’t remember when I got engaged.

It’s because now I’m fairly certain I know why I have no exact memory of it.

I didn’t want to get married. My then-boyfriend had given me an ultimatum. Either we get engaged or he was moving on. At the time, I was three years out of college. We had met when I was nineteen in Scranton, Pennsylvania. He was ready to start the rest of his life.