Thomas that’s exactly how I feel! I am just so tired of change. If I hadn’t also divorced a covert narcissist and the divorce lasted five years I would probably have started dating soon after. I always tell people it’s not the relationship ending. Relationships end. The trauma came from not being able to exercise me from someone even in divorce. It’s pathological just as him now getting remarried on my birthday is. When you can’t escape someone and you spend years trying to it definitely makes you apprehensive about jumping back in. My kids were shocked when their dad decided to remarry. They were shaking their heads not as much because he was remarrying but they were like, REALLY?! Referring to the fact that he wouldn’t divorce me for years so why would he ever do that again?