What a Narcissist Fears Most
Once the narcissist fishes you out of the relationship pool there is one thing they fear most.
That they will lose their catch. That you will somehow slip off of their hook. Because of this, they will make you feel as if you were lucky to have been caught by them in the first place.
In fact, they will make it appear as if you were not the ‘catch of the day’ at all.
That somehow it was you who landed this narcissistic big fish.
Aren’t you the lucky one!
Initially, this works quite well.
You truly do forget the narcissist once reeled you in.
Because everything about the narcissist just becomes grander. Almost to the point of perfection.
The narcissist swims by and everyone takes notice. Everyone loves them and likewise, they appear to love others. They are captivating conversationalists. They make people feel good with charming accolades. They are successful.
It is you who has caught the motherload.
But here is the truth.
Narcissists are surface feeders. They never go deep. They just work the pond.
They smile and laugh. They appear to be interested in what others are saying and doing but they are not. Nor will they ever be interested in what you are saying and doing. Unless it involves them.
And this works for a while.
It feels good to love the narcissist. You have days where you feel the need to pinch yourself. How could this possibly be your life? How could you have landed such a ‘seemingly’ perfect person?
But with time, it becomes clear who was doing the catching. You remember it was you who was on that hook.
And what happens to those who are fished out of a pond? The ones who aren’t lucky enough to get thrown back in.
They either become dinner or captive in someone’s aquarium.
Thus, when the relationship euphoria wears off you begin to understand the narcissist has just one goal. To keep you. To never release you. To never let you go.
To control you.
They achieve this in a variety of ways. They might reduce your world and make it smaller. They might absorb you so completely in theirs you lose sight of yours. They might ignore you so completely you eventually lose yourself.
Despite the individual narcissist’s methods, one thing is for sure. They will deplete you in order to strengthen themselves. The weaker you become the more important and in control they feel. As if they are responsible for all that you have.
This feeds the narcissistic narrative. What would you do without me? How would you survive? Look at all I have given you? Look at the provider I am? Look at me!
The last one bears repeating…Look at me!
Interestingly, the narcissist doesn’t just fear to lose you because you make their world go round. They fear to lose you because you also make their world look good.
You are a trophy catch.
The kind that hangs on the wall.
The one that symbolizes the narcissist’s ability to destroy the beautiful.
The narcissist is not the big fish. The narcissist is the one who catches the big fish. The one who needs the world to witness it. And who needs to contain and control even by means of cruelty.
Whose greatest fear is losing the beautiful catch.
To read more about narcissism read my other articles below.