Narcissism

Why You Will Only Play a Role in the Narcissist’s Life

There’s only space for one person in this type of relationship

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Instead, I played a part in the narcissist’s life. I was merely a face in his life picture. A portion of the perfect package he wished to create. He was assembling his world order. The success he could hang a shingle on…checking off the boxes.

We parallel played. In other words, we occupied the same space but we played independently of one another. My husband was content to have another in the room as long as he was allowed to blissfully operate in his own world with his own toys.

While thankfully, the majority outgrow ‘parallel play,’ the narcissist does not. I soon understood I wasn’t just playing alongside my husband. But rather ‘playing along’ with his life order.

I was emotionally starved. Lacking any and all emotional intimacy. Seemingly ignored until it was time to ‘play my part’ in his hemisphere. Then I was useful. Then the ‘busy man’ took time out of his ‘busy day’ to give me a call. And dutifully I would tidy up his world. As I had done for so very long.

But it had been I who had done all of those things for more than half of our marriage. He had simply left the house and gone to work each day. A boy leaving a house with his mother taking care of everything else. With his mother making his world go round.

Herein lies the greatest irony of the narcissist. They only have room in their world for one — themselves.

Hence, why we only play a ‘bit part’ in their lives. The story they are assembling for the world to see. Yet, anyone who has had the misfortune of loving a narcissist knows the truth. The narcissist may have appeared to be producing the whole show. But we were playing all the supporting roles to allow them to be the ‘star.’ Oscar-worthy.

Written by

National Relationship Columnist, Freelance Journalist & Former Business Columnist. All Shapes of Love — #WomanResurrected colleen.sheehy.orme@gmail.com

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